Lost: The Shape of Things to Come

Did you catch that? They were playing Risk! I bring this up, of course, for the same reason the writers and producers put the game there in the first place. Sure, it gives Sawyer, Locke and Hurley a fun diversion while awaiting their certain doom and babysitting (Three Men and a Baby 3 anyone? How awesome would that be!). But the game also served as a nice small-scale explanation of what the heck is going on in the “real world” between Ben and Windmore.

But let’s get back to the small-scale action, so to speak. With the boys playing Risk in Othersville and Jack getting appendicitis on the beach, now was the perfect time for the creepy looking tall guy from the boat to come to the island and start killing off characters that never really mattered in the first place. Why? Because he’s trying to bring Ben to Charles Windmore. Why? Well, that we don’t know yet.

It turns out Tall Boat Guy (whose name I can’t remember right now) and his men were the ones shooting at Rousseau and Carl last week. That’s great news for us, but not great news for Ben because it mean the freighter folks now had Ben’s daughter Alex in captivity to use as a bargaining chip.

Ben Wasn’t biting, though. He claimed the mercenary guy wouldn’t do anything to harm his daughter, despite what he knew about said guy’s dangerous and violent past. Whoops. Looks like Ben finally got something wrong. Mercenary Man shot Alex dead. Ben, in a fit of rage, unleashed the smoke monster. What!!!! Ben has at least some control over the smoke monster, it seems.

There was also a lot of shooting and some hella tense gunplay between Sawyer and the freighter fighters while he showed his island-nurtured softer side by running to make sure that Claire was alright. This is where some of the fun of knowing who the Oceanic 6 are takes root. We know, for example, that Claire and Sawyer do not leave the island. Whether that’s by choice or not, we don’t know. So we can assume that they could be dead, post-island, and that they could die at any moment. A nice creative choice by the writers, I say, to make the stakes more real for some characters we’ve known and loved for some time now.

Anyway, Ben tells Locke that the safest place to be is at Ben’s side, and that they need Hurley with them in order to find Jacob’s cabin. So the group (including gun man Sawyer and baby momma Claire) grab old Miles and trek out into the jungle to find their fates.

Whew! Now back to the present – or at least back to October 2005. That tells us a few things about the castaways. They’re getting off the island soon. Does anyone remember about what day it would be for the island dwellers? Anyway, Ben follows Sayid to Iraq, where he first signs him up for the vengeance job og killing those responsible for killing Sayid’s wife (the girl he left behind when he came to the island).

Well, Ben finds his way from the middle of the Sahara dessert (why and how? That’s a great question, but I think I have an answer!) to London, where he gets into Windmore’s room and threatens to kill him. Windmore calmly tells Ben that he can’t. So Ben counters with, “You changed the rules, and now I’m going to kill your daughter Penny.” Take that Desmond!

That’s the story in a nutshell, but now let’s get to the fun part: theories!

Let’s start with Ben to the dessert. Remember at the beginning of this season when C.S. Lewis (Charlotte) was digging for polar bears in the dessert? Coincidences don’t exist in “Lost.” My guess is that one of the experiments on DHARMA Island had to do with teleportation. We already know there was some tricky time stuff going on there, so why not moving things from place to place through the air. It would somewhat help explain Jacob’s shack, no? (Well, aside from the unstuck in time theory I first posited last year and that totally came true).

But now on to bigger things: Risk. You’ll remember that Hurley yelled at Sawyer for attacking Siberia when he could have had Australia? “Australia is the key to the whole game” Hurley correctly noted (it really is a great country to hold). Well, let’s look at the facts: Australia is where the islanders were coming from. Australia is an island. That island is the key to the whole game. The Oceanic survivors are on an island. Ben was complaining of changing the rules, almost as if he were playing a game. Ben refused to give Windmore the island. Ben and Windmore are playing a big game of Risk.

I’m not quite sure why or how yet, but it seems to me that Ben and Windmore are battling out some epic Good v. Evil game of Risk, and the players in that game – the Oceanic 6, the beach folks, the others, the freighter fighters, the new island fantastic four – everyone is just another piece of the game to them. Except, it seems, family was off limits until the freighter fighters killed Alex. Now the rules to the game are changing.

But that still doesn’t explain how one wins the game. Obviously, winning the game doesn’t mean killing your opponent. Otherwise both Ben and Windmore would have been in trouble a couple of times this episode. No, there has to be some other sort of checkmate here, but I don’t know what it is. All we know for sure is that the island is the key to victory. Why? My guess is that it’s easily defended, impossible to find, and offers an awful lot of special weapons. Plus, it gives you two extra armies every turn!

Remember the episode title, "The Shape of Things to Come." It's a book by HG Wells, but also a song by the Yardbirds. Nothing can change the shape of things to come is how the lyrics go. Is that true?

So let’s get to the questions:

1. How do you win the game?
2. How did Ben summon Smokey the Monster?
3. Do the non-Oceanic 6 survivors kick the bucket, or do they just choose to stay?
4. How is Desmond going to take the news that Ben has it out for his special lady (assuming he doesn’t die – technically he wouldn’t be considered one of the Oceanic 6)?
5. When do they get off the island?

Lost: Five for all

Wow – that’s about all I can say about my extended absence. It’s been, what, like 80 weeks since last I posted about everyone’s favorite island-dwelling mysteries? Lots has happened in that time, but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to write a ridiculously long post any more than you want to read a ridiculously long post. So instead of doing an in-depth recap of what we’ve missed, let’s just take in a few of the highlights:

The Economist

Post-island Sayid is one of the Oceanic Six (probably). And he’s working for one Benjamin Linus in order to find a mysterious Economist. One can assume that Ben isn’t in need of a good investment planner, but rather that this Economist is one of the folks that’s trying to get Ben. We don’t know who they are yet, but we do know that they used a pretty girl to get Sayid to give up Ben. That girl is dead now. My guess on the economist? Abbadon, the weird looking guy that visited Hurley.

Eggtown

Kate is still boring after the island. Jack, for some inexplicable reason, is still in love with her. He lies in court. She is sentenced to community service because she’s got a bun out of the oven named Aaron, the same name as a certain island baby. Jack doesn’t want to see this baby.

The Constant

Desmond is taking over Locke’s spot as the most awesome character on the show. He becomes unstuck in time (which, I might add, I totally called last year yalls). He and Sayid go to the freighter and meet the crew. Desmond starts freaking out because the 1996 version of him is jumping from past to present and is very confused. That guy from “Early Edition” who isn’t on “Friday Night Lights” is on the boat, and he has the same problem. After meeting past Faraday, Desmond decides that Penny is his constant and gets her to answer the phone when he calls from the boat. His head doesn’t explode. Faraday writes, “Dear Diary, Desmond is my constant and he’s so dreamy.” Kate should take this opportunity to watch Desmond and learn what it’s like to be an interesting character.

The Other Woman

Why Jack chooses Kate over Juliet must be tragic, because there is no reason to pick HSF over the other Other after this fun episode. Charlotte and Faraday head to a gas factory to stop the island from producing toxins that could help Ben. Jack, Kate, and Juliet go to stop them. Juliet is tasked with killing the two freighter folks, but instead she helps them to thwart Ben. Juliet had an affair with Goodwin while he was married. She was supposed to be Ben’s which explains a lot of Ben’s hatred toward one Dr. Shepherd.

Ji Yeon

Two flashbacks at once! That’s cool, right? Sun is an Oceanic survivor, while Jin (it seems) is not. Sun has her baby and gives it the name that Jin asked for while on the island. Jin finds out that Sun slept with that bald guy from a couple of seasons back. He is not upset, because he used to be a tool. No more, he says. Hurley comes to visit Sun and the baby, and the trio stops by Jin’s gravestone (we are led to believe) and says hello. It seems we have the final names of the Oceanic Six. Oh, and Michael’s back on the boat.

That should get us all caught up before tonight’s episode. There are a couple of points I’d like to make before I start to ask a few questions. Namely, who are the real Oceanic Six, and are there really only six?

As it stands, the Oceanic Six should be Jack, Kate, Hurley, Sayid, Jin, and Aaron. That’s six, all survivors of the crash, or so we are led to believe. Additionally, we are told to believe that Jin is dead, and maybe so is Claire (why else would she give up Aaron?). I don’t buy it. Did we ever really hear that Sayid is one of the Oceanic Six? I don’t remember it if it happened. Also, I’m not so sure that Aaron really is the Aaron we think he is.

Here’s what I think: Sayid is not one of the six and the world thinks he’s still dead so that he can do his work with impunity. I think we are supposed to believe that Aaron is Claire’s son, but that he really is Kate’s son with someone else (my guess – Sawyer). Why else might Jack not want to see the baby? And we never really saw Jin die, so I’m not sold on the Asian Invasion’s supposed departure from this mortal coil. Of course, I could be way off.

So here are my questions (more than most weeks):

1. Is Jin really dead?
2. Is Aaron really Aaron?
3. Who is the Economist?
4. Why is Kate so boring?
5. Why is Mikey back?
6. Where is Jacob’s cabin?
7. Where are the other Others hiding out?
8. Does Ben still pine for Juliet?
9. What happened to Ben’s childhood lady friend?
10. Who is it that the others thought Juliet looked just like when she first joined the island freak show?
11. How many more times do we get to see Ben get hit in the face?
12. Why are they after Ben?
13. Where did the bodies and cost come from to stage the Oceanic 815 crash site on the bottom of the ocean?
14. Why doesn’t Jack want to see the baby?
15. Where’s Walt these days?

Lost: 'Beginning of the End' and 'Confirmed Dead'

Shocker! Hurley can't really run that fast.

Welcome to my two-week recap of everyone's favorite TV jumble. I don't know if you noticed, but I didn't really post much about last week's episode. Sorry! I'm gonna go ahead and do a two-for-one here tonight. Let's get started, shall we?

Last week the big news was that Hurley also made it off the island. The big round mound of awesome was on the run from the law because he apparently went a bit crazy. See, our man Hugo saw what appeared to be his pal Charley - he of the recently deceased Hydra station - standing in a gas station post-rescue right there next to the Ho Hos.

But, you see, he claimed the cops should lay off of him. He is one of the Oceanic six, after all. And with that simple sentence, our first mystery de jour for season 4: who are the six passengers who make it off the island in the south pacific? So far, we know three for certain. Jack and Kate were revealed at the end of last season, where as Hurley was revealed just now. Who else? We're not sure.

And Hurley certainly isn't telling anyone. In fact, he's not really talking much at all about the island. And that's why he's been seeing his dead friend. Hurley feels some guilt about leaving the rest of the people on the island (they're still alive, it seems), and about lying about it.

So there we have mystery No. 2: why are the six survivors lying about it?

Well, Hurley checks himself into the same insane asylum in which he spent some time after he collapsed that deck so many years ago (the same asylum in which he first heard the number sequence that brought him to the island and that seems to be all over there). While he's sitting pretty in the crazy house, he's visited by three ghosts (a stretch, sure, but work with me here).

His very own ghost of Christmas past comes when he has a heartfelt conversation with Charley, who explains to him that he needs to go back to the island - that the people there need him.

His ghost of Christmas present comes when he and Jack (the timeline places this some time before bearded Jack from last year's finale tried to kill himself) play a nice round of horse. Jack is a bad shot. Hurley tells him that they made a mistake - that they shouldn't have left the island Jack disagrees and leaves, forfeiting the horse game.

And Hurley's ghost of Christmas future comes in the form of some weird (vaguely alien) looking black guy who comes to promise him a new mental institution and claims to be working for Oceanic. He isn't - he's trying to needle a few answers out of Hurley as to whether or not the others are alive. BUM Bum buuuuummmmmm.

Meanwhile, on the island...

Some long-gestating emotions have started to hit the wall. Jack and Locke were at it again. This time, they're fighting over whether or not they want to reach out to the would-be rescue party that may or may not have alterior motives. Surprise, surprise! Ben agrees that they should stay on the island. So does Hurley, citing Charley's last effort to warn the 815ers of the lack of connection between Penny and the freighter off the island.

Well, eventually they come to another showdown. Locke is staying on the island, and he tells everyone else, "Come with me if you want to live." Here's how the splitdown works:

Jack gets Sayid, Juliet, HSF Kate, and spare parts.

Locke gets Sawyer, Hurley, Ben, Rousseau, Alex/Carl, Claire and Aaron.

Week one ends with Jack meeting up with Bearded Guy with a Parachute. Dr. Jack, he presumes.

Oh, and Hurley saw Jacob's shack, and a bit of the mystery man himself (along with a creepy eye that seems to be Locke).

And that's where week two comes back to us.

Beardy, it turns out, is deeply emotionally effected by the crash. He's a physicist named Daniel Faraday who is on a team of five that came to the island via helicopter. He's a physicist, as was his namesake (who had a lot to do with electromagnetic fields and all that fun, Lost-related stuff). He is a bit nervous, or a little absent-minded.

Thing one is his friend Miles Strom. Seems he's some sort of medium or psychic who busts out a dust-buster in order to commune with the spirits of the dead. He seems to be a bit angry, and he threatens Jack because Naomi was using code.

Thing two is one Charlotte Lewis, a redish-haired British-accented anthropologist who finds a Dharma polar bear in the dessert with a woman who looked suspiciously like Sayid's girlfriend. Charlotte is excited to see the Dharma collar on the bear, and seems to know what it means (it's from the Hydra station by the by).

Thing three is another bearded friend in the form of Frank Lapedis (spelling?), a pilot who was flying the helicopter on which the rescuers arrived. Frank was watching video on the television that showed the wreckage of Oceanic 815 and the body of the pilot, explaining there were no survivors. Frank disagreed, and he picked up the phone to tell someone (someone who sounded suspiciously like creepy alien black man from week one). Frank knew the truth, you see, because he was supposed to be flying that plane.

And thing four was Naomi, who it turns out was on the helicopter at the behest of the very same creepy Dharma-type suite. She was there to protect the four other human elements of the rescue mission. They were working on some sort of black-ops extraction to pick up Benjamin Linus. They are not happy with the Island's resident baddie, and neither is Locke.

Not much happened on-island again this week. Locke and his group found Charlotte, the rest of the rescuers go to team Jack. Ben stole Carl's gun and tried to kill Charlotte. No luck, though, because she was wearing a bullet-proof vest.

There were some great lines this week (almost all Sawyer's) that referenced Heart of Darkness and Walt's tall ghost among others. But the questions remain - why do they want Ben? Who is this creepy alien-looking guy? And where did that cow come from?

So here are a good 10 questions to make up for two weeks:

1. Who are the three remaining Oceanic Six? (We'll find out one more next week)
2. Who is the creepy black man?
3. Why did the Oceanic Six choose to lie about their status as the only castaways?
4. What happens to Locke's group that makes Hurley change his mind?
5. Why (besides the obvious comic relief) do they need Hurley back on the island?
6. Why are they coming for Ben?
7. Why does Vincent the dog only show up when the writers need him?
8. Why choose people with these specific skills?
9. Why was Frank not flying the plane that day?
10. Who is Ben's man on the boat? (My money is on Daniel, who seems nervous)

I’m busy that night

Are you as excited as I am? Tomorrow night, boys and ghouls: “LOST” is back, and I can’t wait. Even more better? Molly is willing to submit herself to seasons 1-3 on DVD. I have the perfect woman and now the perfect TV show. If only the Packers were still playing this weekend, life would be complete.

So tomorrow night – and for at least the next eight Thursdays (that’s how many episodes they had finished before this stinkin’ strike ruined a good thing and brought us pap like “American Gladiator”) – I’ll be busy. So don’t try to talk to me. I’ll ignore you completely.

And even though you don’t care anymore, I’ll still be writing up each episode. Check it out now, my funk soul brother, by clicking on the “LOST” link.

Lost: Through the Looking Glass

Walt the dilly, yo?!?!?!

Last night’s last night of Lost certainly packed a whole lot into the two hours it had to rock our worlds. I can’t wait to get into some of my theories heading into the summer, what I thought of the “Rattlesnake in the Mailbox” (as the producers were calling it online) at the end of the episode, and what I thought of the amazing reappearance of everyone’s favorite telekinetic boy.

But you’ll have to wait, because I didn’t write about last week’s “Greatest Hits Collection,” and I thought I should probably touch on that for a paragraph or two.

Last week we found out that Charlie was gonna die – no, seriously this time. Desmond let him know that by flipping the switch next to the blinking yellow light and drowning, Charlie would have the fortune of knowing that Claire and Aaron (and possibly everyone else) made it off the island. Charlie had to think about this for a bit, but he eventually decided that he would sacrifice himself for the good of every one of his friends on the beach (very symbolic, eh). But once they’re in the boat above the Looking Glass station (10 points to whoever can explain the why the writers chose that reference as a name for that station), Desmond has a change of heart. He offers to take the mission for Charlie, because Charlie has too much to live for in the forms of Claire and Aaron. Charlie agrees, but only so he can trick Desmond and hit him upside the head with a paddle. After swimming down to the looking glass, he is captured by two women and there is no flashing yellow light to be found.

I loved last week’s episode, because I think Charlie rocks. When the writers told us early in the season that he was going to kick the bucket, I was heartbroken. But then he never did, and I held out hope last week that he still wouldn’t die (more on that later). But how great was his list of the five best things to ever happen to him? Claire was the obvious No. 1 on the list, but my favorite was No. 2 – when a woman on the street told him that he was a hero, no matter what anyone said. That’s just the kind of emotional moment that Lost is so good at – surprising and sad at the same time.

Anyway, on to more important matters...

Let’s start with the on-island story. I don’t remember exactly where the episode started, but I do remember the beach. Sayid tells Jack to keep going – no matter what happens – and get the 815ers to the radio tower. When Charlie has disabled the communications jamming equipment in the Looking Glass station, then Jack and Parachute Girl can use her satellite phone to contact the ship that was allegedly sent by Penny Windmore to come and rescue Desmond, and that waits 80 miles offshore. Sayid, meanwhile, is going to stay on the beach with Bernard and Jin. They’re waiting for the Others to come and try to kidnap the women, and the guys are going to blow up some stacks of dynamite and hopefully a few baddies at the same time.

But things don’t really go according to plan.

Ben finds out that the 815ers know about their trip to the beach. He hears the news from the two birds holding Charlie hostage in the Looking Glass. Ben is a busy man in his walkie talkie conversations, because he also learns that Juliet has betrayed him, and that Carl (the boyfriend of his alleged daughter) has warned the 815ers that the Others were coming post haste. Ben is understandably pissed, and he sets off on a jungle trek with Alex to intercept the 815ers on their way to the radio tower. After he “convinces” Jack to stop his plan to bring help, Ben and Alex will meet up with the other Others at “The Temple” (what?!?!), and Mikhail will head to the Looking Glass to dispatch of the ladies and Charlie.

Back on the beach, the Others are making their Angel of Death night visits to the tents that are marked (seriously, either the show has been chock full of Bible references lately, or I’m just catching more of them). The boys take aim and prepare to shoot. We, the cynical viewers, know that something is going to go wrong. And we all assume (or at least I did), that it was going to go wrong for Bernard. He’s a bumbling idiot – let’s be honest. But low and behold, Sayid and Bernard hit their targets dead on. Jin is the one whose gun malfunctions (Get it? He’s sterile.) After some gunfights and a few more deaths by the Others (seven in all), they capture the boys and hold them hostage.

Back on the trail, Jack and the 815ers have stopped to enjoy the scene of their victory. Only they notice that it isn’t all that victorious – they hear gunshots and only see two pillars of smoke. But Jack, remembering his promise to Sayid, keeps the group moving. That’s not right, in Sawyer’s eyes. He wants to head back to save the boys, and he wants to do it without Kate. Instead he gets Sawyer, and we get to run the gamut of emotions. I actually cheered out loud when Jack and Juliet shared their kiss – only to be heartbroken when Jack popped out the big “I love you” to Kate. Juliet is the better woman for you, Jack! I also got a big tug on my heartstrings when Sawyer tells Hurley that he can’t come along – he’s too big and he’ll just get in the way. It’s the exact same thing that Charlie told Hurley when the big man wanted to get in the boat with he and Desmond. Hurley is still my favorite character, and to see him get kicked around like that made me very sad and very mad.

Above the Looking Glass, Desmond wakes up and decides that he doesn’t like being shot at by Mikhail. So he dives into the water and pulls himself down to the Looking Glass. Mikhail decides to join him, and there’s suddenly a party underwater where everyone’s invited. After a brief powwow with the birds and with Ben, Mikhail is told it’s his duty to kill Charlie Pace and the two women. He shoots both women first, natch, and moves in for the kill on the second when he’s hit square in the gut with a spear from Desmond’s spear gun. Charlie gets the code from Lady 2 so he can turn off the jamming equipment. It’s a Beach Boys song, and we all realize now that Charlie really is going to die. The revelation that only a musician could really stop the jamming equipment was heartbreaking to me. I was still holding out hope that Desmond and Charlie could still both make it – working together. But when we find out that only a musician could really turn off the equipment, and that the musician has to be Charlie... Sigh. At least he picked a good way to go.

Charlie stops the jamming equipment, and all of a sudden there’s an incoming message from one Penelope Windmore. She and Charlie talk for a while, and she reveals that parachute girl is not with her. Mikhail taps on the window with a grenade before Desmond can talk to Penny. The moment Charlie realizes that everything happens for a reason on this island is very sad. He comes to the decision that he really does have to die if he wants to ensure that Claire will live. He shuts the door and lets the room fill up with water, but not before using one of his ever-present Sharpies to write the message on his hand that it, in fact, is “Not Penny’s Boat.” He gives himself the Catholic cross and drowns.

Goodbye, Charlie Pace!

Meanwhile, Ben has intercepted 815ers, and he and Jack decide to have a quick chat. Ben tries to convince Jack that Parachute Girl is not who she says she is (something that is confirmed in Charlie’s conversation with Penny). But Jack, citing a history of lying, tells Ben to shove it. Ben asks for his talkie back, and he tells Tom to shoot the beach boys (not the band, but the merry band of dynamite snipers) if Ben doesn’t talk again within a minute. Ben gives Jack the choice – call off his rescue plan, or let the three guys die. Jack chooses the good of the many over the good of the few, and we hear three gunshots. For a second, I thought they might have actually killed Sayid, Jin and Bernard.

After hearing the gunshots, Jack gets uber-pissed, and we see him in full-out anger mode. He beats Ben bloody, grabs the talkie and tells Tom that he is going to get his people rescued, and then he is going to hunt Tom down and kill him. Hardcore! But why not kill Ben right now? Because Jack wants to see him hurt. Jack tells Kate that he will wait until Ben sees rescue coming and realize that he’s lost. That’s when Jack is gonna kill Ben. Bam!

But, of course, the three shooters are still alive, and Sawyer and Juliet are there to help. They’re trying to decide what can be done when Hurley comes barreling out of the woods in his DHARMA van, running over the angry Other whose name I can’t remember, and getting Sawyer a gun – which he quickly uses to dispatch of Tom while Sayid strangles the other Other with his legs. Hooray! Everyone is safe!

And now that the signal jammer is no longer jamming, parachute girl can call her friends on the boat. Oh, and did I mention that Locke is alive, and that Walt helped him regain his legs? And that he has a gun? No? Well, all that is true. He comes up just in the nick of time to tell Jack not to call. He even points a gun at Jack and threatens him. It got to the point where I actually thought that Locke might go through with it and kill Jack. But he can’t. Instead, he tells Jack that this isn’t the way it was supposed to happen (more on that later), and walks off while Jack makes the call.

The boat promises they can zero in on Jack’s location with the phone. Hooray! Everyone is safe! (Or not, depending on how much you trust Ben’s assessment of parachute girl and her friends at this point.)

Wowser! We haven’t even gotten off island yet, and I’m on page three!

The rattlesnake in the mailbox surprise was that the flashback this week wasn’t a flashback – it was a flash forward. But we don’t know that until the very end of the show.

I thought I was seeing the story of Jack, post-tattoos, heading home as an alcoholic and a drug addict. He was obviously upset about something he read in the paper. Apparently when Jack gets upset, he turns into Jim Morrison of the Doors, circa 1970 – bigger, bearded and ridiculously self-involved and obnoxious. Jack was about to jump off a bridge (he said “Forgive me” while standing on a ledge) when a car accident happened right behind him. Being the good doctor, he rushed to the aid of the woman and child in the car.

He also moped around town for a while, stealing some pretty heavy drugs to feed his habit. His ex-wife was still listed as his emergency contact and he mentioned his father (which all added to the “in the past” assumption). He went to a funeral and was the only one there (although we don’t know whose funeral it was, we did learn that Jack was neither friend nor family to this person). Distraught, Jack calls someone to meet him at the usual spot at the airport. Turns out, it’s Kate, and she’s all glammed up with no place to go. Jack yells at her for a while, saying that he’s trying to get back to the island – that they made the wrong decision in leaving. Kate said she had to get back because “He” might notice she isn’t there. Jack still wants to go back to the island – he said they were never supposed to leave. And season!

Well I’ll be darned. That was an awful lot of stuff to happen in the final episode of the season. Fist, we learn that someone knows where the island is now. We learn that Locke isn’t dead, and that he still isn’t willing to kill to get his way (I don’t think he ever will be willing). We learn that Walt is still on the island in some form (most likely the form of the smoke monster), and that he’s telling Locke to do stuff. We learn that parachute girl isn’t who she says she is. We see a mother and daughter reunion with Rousseau and Alex, and we learn that Rousseau is going to join the 815ers on the beach. And, perhaps most importantly, we learn that at least a few of the castaways make it back to the real world – or at least Jack and Kate do – and that they shouldn’t have. Am I forgetting something?

Rather than list a bunch of references in this already overly long post, I’m going to jump right in with my new theory. First, though, let me ask and answer this question: Who hit the time travel nail right on the head? Answer: Brandon! (way back in February for sure, possibly earlier)

What do I mean? Well, here’s my big theory heading into the summer. It’s really more of a string of ideas that might tie in together as I type them, or they might not.

Jack and Kate did make a mistake in leaving the island (if we can assume they ever do leave the island). They are supposed to be there, and here’s why – they were there when the plan crashed. Here’s how it works:

The DHARMA folks claimed to be on the island to live in harmony, to study things and all that jazz. But they were funded by a military industrial complex-type guy in Alvar Hanso. Hanso wanted some applicable technology to come out of this hippie lovefest, and he found it in the form of the electromagnetic anomalies specific to the area of the island of Desmond’s former hatch (the Swan, was it?). A lot of what I’ve been assuming is that the experiments had to do with the mind, with psychic abilities (via Walt) and things like that. What I think it really has to do with now is time travel.

The DHARMA folks (or someone working through them) were hoping to develop a way to travel through the time space continuum, and they were going to use the electromagnetic energies of the island to do it. That’s why they were on the island.

But, as things often do in science fiction science stories, things went awry. The original inhabitants of the island attacked the members of DHARMA (under the leadership of Richard and Ben) and killed them. But where did those original inhabitants of the island come from? The obvious two choices are from the Black Rock slave ship and from Adam and Eve, the two skeletons found in the caves early in season 1 (with the black and white stones). The other connection might be to Jacob, the presumed father of the island and leader of its original inhabitants. I think they came from Adam and Eve, and from intermingling with the crew and slaves from the Black Rock.

So then the question becomes, who were Adam and Eve, and I think we got that answer last night – Adam is Jack and Eve is Kate.

Because of the time travel experiments gone haywire, Jack and Kate (or Penny and Desmond) somehow become the original inhabitants of the island. They were meant to be there. Their offspring and the slaves/crew of the Black Rock (along with various others who arrive on the island) form the group of “original inhabitants” Ben joins and eventually leads.

The island’s electromagnetic abilities may also have something to do with aging on the island. Have we really seen any old people on the island? The oldest are probably Tom, Mikhail and Locke, and they aren’t really that old. We also know that Batmanuel (AKA Richard) seemed not to age at all between the time he and Ben first met, and the current time on the island. Maybe the time-traveling capabilities of the electromagnetic anomalies are causing unusual aging patters. This could also explain why Walt seemed to age faster than the rest of the castaways (as well as providing a handy toll for the writers to explain why the actor changed so much over the course of the show).

But wait, there’s more!

This theory can also be used to explain the mystery of Jacob. Have you seen pictures of the mysterious figure that we see a flash of in the chair during “Man Behind the Curtain?” I have, and I think it’s Locke. Using the time travel solution and a reference to a book (something Lost certainly likes to use), I think we can explain both why he is only visible at certain times and to certain people, and explain how Locke could see himself. In the book “Slaughterhouse Five,” the main character becomes unstuck in time. He can travel back and forth in time, visiting different parts of his life (according to Wikipedia, it’s also implied that this is caused by a plane crash and brain damage). He cannot change anything, though, as he travels. Vonnegut uses a similar situation in “Sirens of Titan,” where a character exists along a wave stretching through the universe. When a planet intersects that wave, the person can be seen on that planet. Vonnegut often writes about ideas like fate, freedom, religion, death and time – ideas that the show Lost touches on often.

On the show, this makes sense because it also ties into a Biblical analogy. When the show represents Biblical stories (most notably the story of Abraham and Isaac), the island is seen as the God figure. It’d also be easy to infer that Locke is a Christ figure, because he is in communion with the island god. Taking this one step further, there should be a holy trinity – the father, son and holy ghost – who are one in the same. This would mean that Locke is also the holy ghost of the island, or Jacob. Sweetness!

Of course, there are a few things that this theory doesn’t really explain. The ideas I can think of off the top of my head include how the Black Rock go so far inland, and where exactly the four-toed statue leg came from. But I’m sure those could tie in somehow.

So when Locke confronts Jack at the radio tower, he is right to say that this isn’t the way it was supposed to happen (because he knows how it was supposed to happen). And when Jack tells Kate it was the wrong decision to leave the island, he’s right because they were supposed to be on the island and will return there in the future or past.

Any thoughts on that one? Please share, even if it’s to tell me my theory is total bunk.

(On a side note: I didn’t sleep very well last night, because I was tossing and turning with this idea. I kept dreaming in cycles – and for some reason I dreamed about the X Files in cycles, too. I think there was an episode where they did that, right?)

But now, because this was a super-long post and a super-long episode, I have a lot of questions to get through the summer with:

1. Whose funeral was Jack attending?
2. Walt?!?!
3. Who does parachute girl work for?
4. How did Jack and Kate get off the island?
5. Who else got off the island?
6. How great was Sawyer tonight? I mean really, he saved the guys, shot Tom because he took Walt, and even had a heartfelt moment with Hurley. Awesome.
7. How long until someone finds the island now?
8. Who will take care of Aaron and Claire now?
9. What was the work that Walt told Locke he had to do?
10. Will the format of the show change now, with future flashes instead of flashbacks? Or will we start in the off-island future and flash back to on-island events that got them there?
11. How do you feel about the announcement of an end date for the show (48 more episodes between now and 2010, I believe)?

Lost: The Man Behind the Curtain

What the hell kinda creep show was that episode!!!!!!! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!

Locke is dead! Well, at least that’s what the episode would have us believe by the final credits. I watched at work and therefore have no insight into his actual deadness from the “Scenes from Next Week.” But, for all intents and purposes, Locke is dead, and there’s nothing we can do about it.

What an episode!

With the announcement that the producers and writers of lost have the rest of this season and then only 48 more episodes to go before the series winds down, they’re making good on their promise to answer a few questions – or at least shake a few things up. Let’s take a look at a few of the questions that got answered this week:

What happened to the DHARMA Initiative? Well, they died. They were killed by the insurgents, or the original inhabitants of the island. According to one of the DHARMA cronies, they don’t know who these original inhabitants are or why they came there. But those inhabitants included Batmanuel and various other faceless worker drones. They gassed the DHARMA folks with some sort of toxin that made them bleed through the nose. They then came into DHARMA village, dumped all the bodies in a mass grave and seized the buildings for their own use.

Who are Ben’s parents? Roger Work Man and some dead lady. I know this wasn’t a big question in a lot of people’s minds, but it loomed large in mine. If Ben was born on the island, his parents must be important I assumed. Turns out, though, that Ben wasn’t born on the island at all. In fact, he was born somewhere outside of Portland, a few months too early. Uncle Rico and some Blonde lady were out hiking in the woods when she decided it was time to pop one out. She died in childbirth, and Rico met the guy who would eventually connect he and Ben to the DHARMA project and bring them to the island. That relationship implied there’s a lot more back story to the characters of Ben, Rico and Mr. Goodsby (which I believe they called the DHARMA guy). When Ben and Batmanuel came back to dispose of the bodies, Ben calmly closed the eyes of Mr. Goodsby.

Who is Jacob? Well, we didn’t really get a complete answer on this one. But as far as I can tell, Jacob is either some sort of creepy telekinetic ghost, or part of Ben’s brain gone haywire. I guess it depends on who or what you believe while watching one of the creepiest Lost segments ever. Ben took Locke to an abandoned cabin, where he started talking to an empty chair. Eventually, Locke called Ben’s bluff and pulled out a flashlight, which seemed to anger “Jacob.” That’s when things started getting freaky. There were a lot of jump cuts and things flying around. But I could have sworn I saw a human form in that chair by the end of the sequence. I can’t wait to get home this afternoon and check it out on the Tivo.

What were the Others going to do to the 815ers? Turns out, they were about to come in and take down some of the ladyfolk – specifically Sun, but also possibly Kate and various others. Juliet told Jack about the plan, but he didn’t tell any of the other 815ers. When they confronted Jack with the tape of Juliet’s notes to Ben, Juliet explained how things were about to go down. Jack responded with “Looks like we have some catching up to do,” which certainly implies we’re about to learn a little more about what happened to him in Othersville.

Why didn’t Eye Patch Man die? Because the phaser was set to stun, not kill, silly.

I think those were the big’uns that were addressed in this deliciously great episode. All these answers are wonderful, but it certainly brings up a lot more questions. For instance, I assumed that Batmanuel was ‘bout the same age as Ben. Turns out, he was an insurgent when Ben first came to the island. Also, we now have a new love interest for Ben in Annie, who gave him a carved wood doll that he still carries around with him. She was never addressed when the purge took place.

There’s also fun little facts like Jack being treated as a savior by the 815ers (Sun’s “Jack would never do anything to hurt us,” comment was pretty cool). Also, we learned that Uncle Rico was the guy that Hurley found in the van (and we found out that Ben killed him and that he was an alcoholic). We also learned that Ben was abused as a child. We also learned that the Submarine is old. There were also all sorts of new names and faces to try and remember this week (courtesy of the nametags worn by DHARMA employees). In fact, we learned quite a lot this week, and I know I’m forgetting something.

Here are some fun Bible facts for you (according to Wikipedia and Bible Gateway): Jacob was the son of Isaac. After betraying his brother Esau, he wrestled with God in the desert. Once he returned to his homeland and was forgiven by his brother, he had 12 sons – the twelve tribes of Israel. Of those sons, Benjamin was the youngest. His mother Rachel died in childbirth (hmmm...). Here’s Jacob’s blessing on Benjamin as Jacob died: “Benjamin is a ravenous wolf; in the morning he devours the prey, in the evening he divides the plunder.” (Cheery!)

After weeks off of reporting on the island, I come back with a post that is less plot and more geekboy fandom. I make no apologies.

Here are the questions (more than usual this week):

1. Is Locke really dead?
2. What happened to Annie?
3. Why did Alex give Locke a gun when they went to see Jacob?
4. What the heck really happened when they went to see Jacob?
5. Who were the original inhabitants of the island? Are they really connected to the Adam and Eve that the 815ers found in the caves?
6. What did Jacob or Ben mean when he said "Help Me" to Locke?

Lost: One of Us

So how long is one week?

The curious thing about time on this island is that the rate at which it goes by is not a constant per episode. In the three years that the show has been on, time on the island has passed approximately a month. But that could change. My guess is that one week comes at approximately the end of this season’s cliffhanger.

But what’s so important about one week? That’s when Ben told Juliet they would meet back up on the beach – the Others are coming to Oceanic camp.

This week’s episode was about Juliet, my favorite of Jack’s many love interests. And, because she at one point was on this island by choice, we got to see her progression from baby doctor to hatch-dwelling captive and supposed Other-rejectee.

Juliet came to the island on a submarine after she left her newly preggers (they actually used it on the show!!!) cancer surviving sister in Portland. She was drugged before getting on the submarine by Batmanuel and Ethan. When she woke up, she had been violated countless times and her shoes had been removed. Surprise! You’re on a mysterious island!

Turns out the biotech company recruited Juliet to help them out with a little problem. No one on the island has cancer, but no one on the island can pop a bun out of the oven either. It seems everyone who gets pregnant dies a pretty gruesome death. Until Juliet arrives and all the pregnant ladies die a pretty gruesome death after being subjected to needle torture. Except Claire.

When the plane falls out of the sky, Juliet had just confronted Ben about letting her off the island, about Ben’s tumor, and about Ben’s promise to cure her sister. Ben sees the crash as an opportunity to harvest a few more ladies with a glow about them, so he sends Juliet’s snogging buddy Goodwin and Ethan to infiltrate and find out. Then Ben shows Juliet a live-feed video of Juliet’s sister and her healthy baby boy. It’s a miracle!!!

Well, things have a way of spiraling downhill in Othersville. Ethan goes AWAL and kidnaps Claire. Charlie shoots him. The Oceanic survivors start causing trouble on the island. And then the Ben comes up with a plot. He tells Juliet to gain the trust of Kate – she already has the trust of Jack – and infiltrate the beach camp once again. The Others have already implanted Claire with some sort of bleeding device, so Juliet can show up to save her just in time and gain a little more trust. But it’s all a scam.

The Others aren’t gone – they’ll be back in one week. And who knows what happens then.

Along with this story, we got a bunch of pretty cool character moments:

+ Kate and Jack’s stunted woodland conversation.
+ Sawyer’s almost tearful reaction on seeing Kate (and his evident disappointment in the fact he’s no longer a leader – a role I think he truly enjoyed).
+ Sayid’s demand for the exact same answers every viewer of the show wants – and his threat to use force if necessary.
+ Juliet’s response of showing that she knows a lot more about each of the castaways than they want the rest to find out.
+ Charlie’s loving care of Claire.
+ And Hurley being sent to guard Juliet. (Worst. Guard. Ever.)

Even though we didn’t get all the answers that everyone has been hoping for, we certainly got a lot of meat to chew on, and the rest of the season promises to be a pretty action-packed adventure (hooray for “Lord of the Flies”-style social devolution!). But I do have some questions:

1. What happens in a week?
2. Am I the only one who thinks that Jack should end up with Juliet and Kate should end up with Sawyer?
3. How come no one on the island gets cancer, but then all of a sudden Ben's got a tumor? (He lost his faith in the island - the same faith that cured Locke's legs. That's my guess, anyway.)
4. Where did the other Others go?
5. Where is Batmanuel now?

Lost: Left Behind

Catfight! In handcuffs! In the mud!

So tonight we learned a little bit about Kate, and, as always, that meant that I was bored, tired and distracted through most of the episode. You know you’re in hot water when the more exciting part of the episode is the Hurley-Sawyer comic relief. But if we must trek into HSF territory, then we must.

Turns out Kate went back to visit Mom sometime shortly after she blew up her step dad (aprox. two months, as the crow flies). She doesn’t want to drop in for a chat or to say she was sorry for what she did – rather, she was more interested in finding out why mommy abandoned her and gave her up to the cops. In order to find this out, she had to recruit the preggers ex-con victim of Sawyer (Cassidy) and form the most estro-centric con artist team since Thelma and Louise.

Turns out, Kate’s mom (who, by way of IMDB search, it turns out was in such classic flicks as “Nurses in Love” and “Slammer Girls” as well as “Sabrina the Teenage Witch”) had some pertinent life lessons to teach her daughter when the two actually did meet face to face. She said, “You can’t help who you love.” Kate said “I don’t know how to act, so I’ll use the same facial expression for every emotion, including this one. But I’m hot.”

That’s about that for the off-island Austins. Kate offered to help get back at Sawyer without ever learning who Sawyer was. And then she went on her way, presumably to get that guy killed and steal his toy airplane.

Back on the beach, though, there’s some fun going down. Hurley tells Sawyer that there’s going to be a vote to exile him down the beach and cut him off. Sawyer thinks, “Big deal,” until he tries to gut his own fish and realizes that he needs the rest of the castaways. He tries to win them over through politicking – offering a blanket to Claire (who, Hurley says, has a big say in the public opinion) and throwing an island barbecue. As it turns out, though, Hurley was pulling Sawyer’s leg. There was never going to be a vote, but Hurley recognizes the leadership void and knows that the other islanders look up to Sawyer for advice and beer. He tells Sawyer as much, and then we see the con trying to make nice with the rest of the island dwellers.

Too bad everyone else above Sawyer on the pecking order is coming back next week – except for Locke. Oh, yeah, that reminds me that Kate was also doing stuff on the island.

Kate wakes up handcuffed to Juliet. The two trek through the jungle to get back to Othersville and get Jack and Sayid. Along the way Juliet pops a shoulder and meets Smokey. She reveals she has a key to the cuffs and that the others left her behind as well. She also shows Kate that Smokey doesn’t like the electric fences.

They get to Othersville and Kate goes to rescue Jack. It’s a touching moment until Kate says all the others have left and Jack asks, “Even Juliet?” With all due regards to HSF’s boring facial expression, that scene was pretty great. How heartbroken was she to hear Jack ask that? Very heartbroken. But she doesn’t get to say anything, because Jack keeps on keeping on the Juliet bandwagon. When Sayid says that Juliet can’t come back, he says she can because she was left behind, too. And that’s that. I think Juliet is a better match for Jack than Kate is, anyway.

So, that’s that. Here are some questions:

1. Do you like Jack/Kate, Jack/Juliet, Kate/Sawyer, or Kate/Juliet best?
2. Why doesn’t Smokey like the fences, and why did he flash?
3. Why did the Others leave Juliet behind? Is she a spy?
4. Why did the Others take Locke? Where were they going?
5. Why didn’t the castaways come to live at Othersville after they all left?

Lost: Expose

Hola, gangerang.

Tivo is awesome! And so, apparently, are Nikki and Paulo. But I guess we’ll never know just how awesome now, will we. But we can all bask in the great awesomeness of Tivo for weeks, months, and years to come. I could have written this last night after I finished watching the episode (shortly after most of you finished the episode, although I started at about 9:30 because I rock), but I had some homework to avoid and more season passes to add to my new best friend.

As it turns out, Nikki and Paulo were a walking clip show. They reminded us all of the friends we left behind (that science teacher guy! Ethan!) and those friends we’d hoped were really dead and gone for good (Shannon! Boone!). The episode was cleverly staged to showcase that Nikki and Paulo were there from the beginning, just on the fringe of the A Team but not cool enough to be on the B Team.

In an off-island life, Nikki was an actress in the way that Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson, those girls on the Real World, et cetera, are actresses – they aren’t, but they’re pretty and good at sleeping with people. Paulo, on the other hand, was a cook who knew something about poison. Together, they were a conning team. Nikki slept with some producer enough to convince him to hire Paulo as his cook. Paulo promptly poisoned him, and the couple got into his secret safe full of those dolls that come apart and diamonds.

It was with the diamonds that they were planning to escape Australia on Oceanic 815. Once the plane crashed, they spent most of their time looking for the bag that had the diamonds and turning into a Shannon/Boone bickering couple. Paulo actually finds the diamonds quite early, but he doesn’t tell Nikki.

Through the course of the 815ers stay on the island, Nikki and Paulo saw a lot of things that they didn’t really tell anyone about – The airplane where Locke sacrificed Boone, for instance, or the Pearl Hatch with all the TVs in it. Paulo actually saw Ben and Juliet before the former became Henry, switched to Benry and then shortened it to Ben. They also got to know a lot of the minor characters on the island – Arzt, Shannon, Boone, Ethan, Etc.

But Nikki finds Paulo’s diamond hiding ways out, and she tricks him. She tosses one of Arzt’s spiders at him – one that will paralyze him for about eight hours. She’s apparently not the brightest person on the island, though, because she doesn’t remember that the spider will attract a boatload more spiders, and she gets bitten, too. Rather than running to get help and explain what happened, she runs and hides the diamonds, then falls onto the beach next to Sawyer and Hurley (who are playing ping pong). They think she’s dead. They find Paulo and think he’s dead, too. An investigation ensues, the find the diamonds and they dig a big whole for burying the couple. But not before Nikki opens her eyes as the dirt falls on her face (even though, logically, it should have been Paulo that woke up first).

Thus end Nikki and Paulo (probably). They were never fan favorites, but they had an interesting story. It was kind of a filler episode, though, but let’s hope that means we just needed a breather before the coming epic climax or something. It wasn’t this season’s best, but it certainly wasn’t this season’s worst. All in all, a pretty good episode.

What did you think of Nikki and Paulo? They’re episode served to solve a couple minor plot points on the island, but they didn’t really do anything great. Was it worth it? Do you think they’re dead? Anyway, I’m asking a few too many...

Questions (not so serious edition):
1. How come the Pearl Hatch was so easy for Nikki and Paulo to find, but Locke didn’t notice it for days?
2. How cool was it to see Billy Dee Williams (aka Lando Calrisian)?
3. Where does Hurley park his van?
4. Didn’t you just want to see a hand pop up out of the sand all Zombie movie-style? But I guess that would mean more Nikki and Paulo.
5. Did you hate Nikki and Paulo as much as a lot of “Lost” fans?

Jacob and Esau

Alright, folks. I’m going to stick to the biblical allusions here, because that’s what I know. And I’m just going to be writing this out because I’m not real sure where I’m going with it:

Jacob and Esau were mentioned in the “Bad Twin” book. I assumed it was a reference to the twins in the book, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that it also ties into the show. Esau was a hunter, while Jacob was a thinker. They were twin brothers born to Isaac, son of Abraham – the father Israel (which, really, is Jacob’s future name as well as being a nation). Esau was born first, and was the rightful heir to Isaac’s blessing, which was a big deal back in the Old Testament days. But Jacob tricked Isaac into blessing him instead of Esau (this is after Jacob already tricked Esau into selling his birthright as the firstborn). Esau swore revenge on Jacob, but when the time came he forgave him (that’s after Jacob wrestled with God). Anyway, Jacob goes on to do some things like father the 12 tribes of Israel and bring them into Egypt where they will be enslaved for hundreds of years – you know, a bunch of non-essential stuff.

Anyway. I’ve already drawn comparisons between Locke and Abraham (sacrificing Boone because of his faith in the island). But it seems to me that there are also similarities between Jack/Locke and Jacob/Esau or maybe better yet Ben/Locke and Jacob/Esau.

Locke is the hunter in the story – Esau. He was tricked out of his inheritance

Jack and Locke are the two characters that we know well enough to know that they are almost always of contradicting viewpoints. But Ben and Locke would make the most sense. Last week’s episode clearly drew parallels between the two (what with their wheelcharing and all). In the Old Testament, Esau (read: Locke) is continually getting tricked by his brother Jacob (read: Ben). Apparently, there are also historical biblical references to fighting between the descendents of Esau – Edom – and the descendents of Jacob – Israel.

So that makes a lot of sense. But in that Biblical context, Ben (Jacob) would be the good guys and Locke (Esau) would be the bad guys. That would also mean the two share a father (which could, in this case, be the Island or Dharma). The Island father makes sense in that it rightfully belongs to Locke, who has his faith placed in the island, while Ben is the one who is mainly in control of the island and who has lived there his entire life.

But does this mean that Locke (Esau) will show mercy to Ben at some point and not kill him? Have either Locke or Ben wrestled with God yet (maybe that’s the box/Locke’s dad)? Am I missing something, or am I reading too much into this?

Maybe I’m off the mark. Let me know what you think.