It’s the end of an era (as is already stated in the title of this post) and the beginning of a new era of fear. I received possibly the best going-away gift I could ever have received tonight at the Avalon when I found out that for some reason Chris was avoiding working with my in my last days and I had the pleasure of working with Laura. As expected, there was no party. Four years of work and no party. Dave was only here for two and he got a shindig (not that I really want Tony to come and eat all my pizza anyway, but its nice to know when someone cares).
I write to you now from the office womb that has been my home away from home for four long and tedious years. The night has a little more sentimentality to it than I expected. I feel like I’m in the final episode of “Friends”: you already know what’s going to happen but feel compelled to care anyway.
And so I end my final hours of oppression tonight. I will leave my key on the desk when I leave and vacate through an exit door, never to return until next Wednesday when I need to come in and pick up a paycheck. There will be no melodramatic final teary goodbyes, no surprise weddings and no babies on the way at the end of this episode. What there will be is a big gapping hole of freedom.
A friend in class asked what I planned on doing as a wild and crazy goodbye. I thought maybe I’d fill a popcorn bag full of Blue-Raspberry Slushy and throw it at the wall. Or maybe I’d start the movies at the end of the night and let them play for about 15 minutes before stopping them and leaving. Other ideas involve fire, baseball bats or hatchets. My final, lackluster decision is to take a defaced poster for “Why Do Fools Fall in Love” and putting it up to see if anyone notices. Not overly adventurous nor destructive. Oh well, the story of my life.
Today, while eating my lunch of Turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy in the Pioneer Student Center, I felt like a Russian political prisoner for almost no reason.
Ok gang, because you asked for it and because I care, here is a list of all the posters I have in my possession and unframed right now. Quit your whining. This list includes movies I am keeping as well, so don’t forget to read the fine print. If you see something you like, leave a comment and I will consider your request. As for getting said posters, who knows how that’ll work. You could pick them up at my house or (if you live in, say Alaska) I could send them to you if your superior officers allow. Also, if you would like me to specifically burn one in your honor, let me know and I will burn you like mad! Like I said, this is what I have now. There are still a few posters behind other posters at the Avalon that I forgot about, so if they are ones I don’t want I’ll let you know, kay? Alphabetically!
1. 13 Going on 30
2. 50 First Dates
3. A Very Long Engagement (I don’t know if I’d want this one, but I’m thinking no. Seriously, people, Amelie was BORING! And French)
4. Abandon (Katie Holmes!!)
5. Against the Ropes
6. Alfie (3)
7. Anacondas 2: Curse of the Blood Orchid (2) (I know for sure someone wants one of these [that someone is still employed at the Avalon])
8. Beautyshop
9. Beyond Borders (I think this was Angelina’s audition piece for world savior/home wrecker)
10. Big Fat Liars
11. Big Fish
12. Boogeyman (Otherwise known as “That Guy From 7th Heaven Walks Around and Looks Sad for 2 Hours”)
13. Bridget Jones; The Edge of Reason
14. Calendar Girls
15. Catch that Kid
16. Cellular
17. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (This one is not available for burning or taking, even though Tim Burton has left a less than tasty taste in my mouth with his last two movies)
18. Cheaper By the Dozen
19. Christmas With the Kranks (4)
20. Cold Mountain (You can have this one… Cha! And monkeys might fly out of my butt!)
21. Collateral (My mom was like “the beginning was a little boring” and I was like “there was a boring minute in this movie? I must have missed it.”)
22. Constantine
23. Daddy Daycare
24. Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (5)
25. Dodgeball (Thank you, Chuck Norris! I’m keeping this’n)
26. Elf (I like Christmas movies and this will make a festive decoration for my future dwelling around the yuletide holiday)
27. Ella Enchanted
28. Fat Albert
29. Finding Neverland (Mine, but I could be convinced otherwise)
30. First Daughter (Katie Holmes!!!!!)
31. Flight of the Phoenix (John and Dave, your mom says you’re not allowed)
32. Good Boy
33. Gossip (2)
34. Hardball (2)
35. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (The best Potter movie thus far deserves to belong to me)
36. Haunted Mansion
37. Herbie: Fully Loaded (Interesting note for all you perverts out there. I recently received the hot tip that Lohan will be able to appear nude following the release of this movie and the release of her boobies from Disney ownership. Plus, Michael Keaton!)
38. Hidalgo (2)
39. Holes (This was pretty good, so I don’t know if I want the poster. I really hadn’t thought about the movie for a long while until I saw this poster again. But what’s not to like, eh? Plus, I hope to impregnate someone someday, and the fact that my children will read is not up for debate. What better way to encourage reading than offering movie posters based on kids books? I’d be the coolest dad ever!)
40. House of Flying Daggers
41. How to Deal (3)
42. Ice Princess (2) (From Mathlete to Athlete)
43. In Good Company (Haven’t seen it, but I still think I’ll keep the poster with the assumption that it will be as good as Topher and Scarlet say it should be. Also, About a Boy was a good movie)
44. In the Cut
45. Johnson Family Vacation
46. Ladykillers (Mine, but only in an attempt to own all Coen Bros. movies)
47. Laws of Attraction (3)
48. Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events (5) (I’m keeping at least one. This, along with some of the others, has about two different versions of the poster. You get what you get, though, if you want them)
49. Life Aquatic (MINE!!!! Bill Murray, Wes Anderson, David Bowie and Pirates. What more could you ask for?)
50. Like Mike
51. Lucky Break
52. Mona Lisa Smile (2)
53. Mr. 3000 (2)
54. National Security
55. National Treasure (4)
56. Oh Brother Where Art Thou (I had to trade Kill Bill Vol. One for this’n. I just went ahead and gave away Kill Bill Vol. 2. For those cogs of you, that means I’m keeping it)
57. Open Water
58. Paparazzi
59. Peter Pan (the crappy live-action remake with the Coldplay song in the preview all the time, not the beloved Disney classic or Hook)
60. Phantom of the Opera
61. Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
62. Racing Stripes (Scream till you’re Horse!)
63. Radio (proving retarted Cuba Gooding Juniors were born to work with heart-warming coaches and football teams)
64. Raise Your Voice
65. Raising Helen (3)
66. Runaway Jury
67. Scooby Doo (I’m keeping this one for love of the original show only. The movie was about as good as “The New Scooby Doo Movies” cartoons that Dave loves so much)
68. Shark Tale (3, One of which is torn)
69. Shrek 2 (This one is torn, too. Oddly enough, at one point we had over 5 of these)
70. Sideways (I haven’t seen this, but I don’t really have immediate plans to. It’ll be save the fire either way)
71. Sin City (I’m keeping this in hopes that a movie with a guy’s guys getting ripped off is better than it sounds. It looks pretty, anyway)
72. Sinbad (4) (With the beautiful, talented, big-as-a-house Catherine Zeta Jones!)
73. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (3) (I’m keeping Polly Perkins. I also have a big-ole bus shelter poster still in the closet of the theater)
74. Sleepover
75. Spider-Man 2 (mine)
76. Spy Kids 3D
77. Surviving Christmas (2)
78. Taxi
79. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (The best romantic comedy of that year)
80. The Fighting Temptations
81. The Forgotten (3)
82. The In-Laws
83. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (If you even have to think about whether or not I will be keeping these, you do not know who I am or anything about me)
84. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (see above)
85. The Matrix Reloaded (Morpheus’s head and shins get cut off. All in all, the poster has a better plot than the movie)
86. The Missing
87. The Passion of the Christ: Recut (2) (Not the sequel)
88. The Perfect Score (2) (Scarlet Johansen can’t save everything)
89. The Prince and Me (2)
90. The Ring Two
91. The Shipping News
92. The Spongebob Squarepants Movie (I’ll take this one for love of the show)
93. The Terminal
94. Timeline
95. Tuck Everlasting
96. Twisted
97. Wimbledon
98. Yu Gi Oh (3) (My dad might want one or two of these to give away as prizes for stuff at school. That leaves only one!!!!!!!! Get yours while they last!!!!!!)
Sorry, no news. But feel free to grab your piece of the past four years of my life while you can. Three days of work from now I will be free of the Avalon.
Is it just me, or are parents getting dumber?
Tonight at the Avalon (4 days left!!!!!!!) I asked myself that question and many more when we had a young couple come in to see Fever Pitch at 9 p.m. with their two children. Nothing wrong with that, right? Wrong. These two children were 5-years-old tops. Now, I guess each parent has their own guidelines as to when their children should go to bed and I’m ok with that. But subjecting a tired child to that much Jimmy Fallon should be some sort of federal crime. Irregardless, I want to see that movie.
Speaking of scarred for life, another set of questionable parents came in at the same show. I use the term questionable in this sentence to mean not only are their methods questionable, but it is questionable as to how these two became parents, let alone with each other. This girl was WAY outta his league. Anyway, they came in with their newborn baby. My first assumption was that they were smuggling in alcohol in the guise of a child in a carseat. I was impressed by their ingenuity and wanted to congratulate them when the alcohol moved and made some sort of gurgle sound. Then I knew it was a baby. A quick investigation of our movies (Fever Pitch, Guess Who and Amityville Horror) showed me that there was no show suitable for that young an audience (nor is any show suitable for that young an audience in my opinion). But, I thought, hey. If some other retard family can come see Fever Pitch why not these people, right? Wrong. I guess they must be a little more well read than I am, because the only way they would have brought a newborn baby to Amityville Horror is if some study said scaring the crap out of your kid real early is good for development.
In an attempt to finally be ahead of the curve I thought I would jump ship on these blog things. As evidenced by the lack of posting on Eric, Brandon and Sam’s blogs (alongside the prophetic announcement that Blam! is, in fact, dead) the blogger revolution is a sinking ship and I thought I'd skip town before the last train leaves (seeing as I took the last train into town). But I just couldn’t stay away. Also, I'm suspicious that Eric and Sam and Brandon are lazy.
Reasons for my not posting: I hate school and I like my life. Plain and simple.
Ok. So my reason for posting is this: I currently have 25 free song downloads coming my way from iTunes. You all know my love for owning (officially) my music, so I enjoy this idea of free song downloads. Hence my dilemma. I like to download songs and yet I hate decisions. I’ve reached the point where I decided to download two CDs but that’s as far as I can get.
I NEED YOUR HELP! Without you I might end up with some crap like Sloan or Weezer (who, I’m surprised to announce, I have no music by). Or possibly the Rentals. Feel free to offer your advice and I will ignore it and download Sloan and the Rentals anyway.
So before the episode starts I’m thinking to myself “This is going to be an enjoyable episode, as in I can wait until tomorrow morning to work on job application stuff enjoyable.” I also think Boone is not going to die, but I don’t know why I think that. After last week’s episode I made my way back to EW’s comments board on what was going on with all this stuff. Learned the interesting trick of watching with closed captioning on. Not that I’m going to try it, but I don’t think that’s a bad idea. Ingenuity! Go America!!
- So jack was married? That’s neat. Too bad he wasn’t involved in that wonderful game of cliché with Kate and Sawyer in the woods, otherwise we might have known all sorts of trivial information about him.
- The boat will be done next week. That’s cool. Also, how come the pontoons look a little too professional? Sawyer called him Kato. That’s awesome. “Little yellow swine…”
- I don’t think I’m the only one who has noticed the extreme absence of Locke as yet in this episode. I’m just sayins all. Just sayin.
- Was the Korean lady some sort of holistic medicine person? She seems to know a lot about doctoring. Maybe she studied with former all-pro NFL running back Ricky Williams in California on how to cure people by doing absolutely nothing but being a total washout. Eric should study there.
- Oooh! One of the great things about this show is how it combines so many subtle things and little plot points and tiny innuendos and everything to make one really compelling hour of good TV. Like that scene in tonight’s episode where Claire is just going into labor and Jin has to run to get Jack but he can’t go because he’s trying to save Boone. Charlie is there and worried and Jin has to lower himself (in his mind) to communicating to Jack through his estranged wife. That is a lot of information packed into one really cool scene, even if said scene doesn’t involve a door in the floor a big monster or anything. Good stuff.
- Boone is telling the secret. That’s big. Now they know a little something more about the nature of the Boone/Locke hunts. Maybe now Jack will realize that Locke isn’t all he’s cracked up to be (and he’s cracked up, let me tell you!). And was it just me or did Locke get shot in the “coming up on Lost” scenes? That would be a twist I didn’t expect.
- Well, in the magician nature of total misdirection, here I was thinking it would be too obvious to kill Boone and Boone dies. Here’s my problem with that: I really liked the idea of having one character sans leg “walkin’ round” the island. That would be way stellar and a cool thing for Boone and the other characters to have to deal with. A legless character would be cool beans. I’d like that. But my question is this: what do you do when you have a severed human leg on your hands? I’d guess burn it, but I’m not a medical expert or anything.
- Jack got the big married and Boone got the big dead. I was thinking that was a little too obvious, but hey, I’m not a medical expert or anything. All in all this was a pretty interesting episode, but it was something of a letdown. I was hoping they would at least address the Locke dilemma, but they totally ignored that. I was hoping for the big shocker of Boone not dying, but I got shafted on that. No big and exciting new plot points in this one, but still pretty compelling. And what did Boone want to tell Shannon? Probably something…
- I don’t like how they aren’t showing any of the faces of the generic cast members for very long. What about these people? I understand that you can’t have everyone get their own story, but why acknowledge they are there just so you can point out that nobody really cares that they are there? Just seems a little mean-spirited.
Here’s the questions: BAM!!
1. What about Jack’s wife?
2. Did something happen to Claire’s baby in the woods with “them”?
3. Why am I so gullible to think that I knew what was going on?
4. What did Boone want to tell Shannon?
5. Oh, yeah, what is in that hatch?
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/7411430/